(fwd) Yahweh Busted for Drug Cultivation -- Property Seized!

[gsutter@pobox.com (Gregory Sutter)]

On 22 Jan 1997 20:01:50 GMT, in rec.drugs.cannabis "Dr. Gordon Kenney"
<gkenney@memphis.edu> wrote:

Yahweh Busted for Drug Cultivation -- Property Seized!

San Diego (Universe Press)

Yahweh, who claims to be the creator of all things, was arrested late 
Monday morning while visiting seriously ill cancer patients at a 
children's hospital near San Diego, Calif.  Drug Enforcement 
Administration (DEA) officials stated at a hastily convened press 
conference that they had been on the trail of Yahweh for "at least ten 
years."  Officials also stated that he will be charged with cultivation 
of coca, cannabis, and poppies in violation of the federal laws of the 
United States.  Yahweh, who apparently has no known address, will also 
be charged with illegal entry into the country.  Several state attorneys

general have contacted the DEA for information about Yahweh, as it 
appears that he is wanted in other states for crimes such as murder and 
embezzlement.

By all accounts, DEA officials were very pleased with the apprehension 
of Yahweh.  DEA Administrator, Thomas Constantine, noted that a small 
portion of Yahweh's property has been seized and has been estimated at 
well over $995 quadrillion.  The Internal Revenue Service has been 
informed about these assets and will be launching a separate 
investigation.

Racketeering charges have not been ruled out, though DEA officials are 
still searching for two assailants who may have acted in concert with 
Yahweh.  These suspects are said to answer to the names Jesus Christ, 
and Holy Ghost.  Mr. Christ has no known prior record, but Mr. Ghost has

outstanding warrants in France and Russia, according to INTERPOL.

Yahweh, who apparently suffers from delusions concerning his 
omniscience, will be detained and evaluated at an undisclosed 
psychiatric hospital until his arraignment.



--
This message comes to you as a service of the mph-humor list.  No
claims of real or perceived humor are offered.
Sumbissions:  mph-humor@wopr.ml.org
Information:  http://wopr.ml.org/~hunt/mph-humor.html