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What's the frequency, Kenneth?
From: [email protected] (Peter Gutmann)
Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery
Subject: Re: Digital Cameras (Was Re: What Is It About Lusers...)
Date: 30 Apr 1998 01:11:12 GMT
ChaRlIe sTUdLyMufFiN <[email protected]> writes:
>On 27 Apr 1998, Kenneth Romelli wrote:
>> :>Ladies and gentlemen, we seem to have a plague on our hands.
>>
>> FSCK! FSCK! FSCK!!!!
>> (Wonder who _this_ post will show up under...)
>Kenneth, what is the frequency?
} Sixty hertz if you're in America.
} Fifty hertz if you're in England.
}
} Vs over lambda if you're an acoustical engineer.
} C over lambda if you're a physicist.
} Every fifteen or twenty seconds with sets every ten minutes
} if you're a surfer.
}
} Once every two years if you're a governor.
} Once every four years if you're the President.
} Once every lifetime if you're Dan Quayle.
}
} Four times a day if you're normal.
} Four times a week if you're dehydrated.
} Four times an hour if you've been drinking beer.
} Four times a minute if you've been drinking Coors.
}
} Once or twice a day if you're normal.
} Once or twice a week if you're constipated.
} Once or twice a minute if you drink the water in Mexico.
}
} Six times a week if you're normal.
} Zero if you're celibate. Hand jobs don't count.
} Eight times a week if your SO lives down the street.
} Twelve times a week if your SO lives with you.
} Twenty times a week if your SO lives with you and your other SO
} lives down the street.
} Twenty-four times a week if both your SO's live with you.
}
} Three per session if you're normal.
} Zero per session if you're impotent.
} Zero per session if you're celibate. Hand jobs don't count.
} One per session if you're old.
} Ten per session if you're horny.
} Twenty-seven per session if you just finished serving four straight
} years on a Navy sub or a state prison. Gradually tapers to three
} per session.
}
} Zero if you're an unmarried Catholic.
} Zero if you're an unmarried Catholic with an SO.
} Once a year if you're an unmarried Catholic with a fiance, but it
} didn't really count because neither of you came, right?
} Once a minute for the first two weeks of a Catholic marriage.
} Twice a day for the first two years.
} Once a day for the next three years.
} Four times a week for the next five years.
} Twice a week for the next five years.
} Once a month with your spouse, twice a week with your lover,
} for the next ten years.
} Once every six months or so from now 'till death do you part.
}
} Once every four years if you're an Engineering major.
} Once every two years if you're a Physics major.
} Once every three weeks if you're an English major.
} Once every week if you're an Art major.
} Twice a week if you're a stripper.
} Three times a week if you're a high school football player.
} Four times a week if you're a frat boy.
} Four times a week if you're a sorority girl.
} Fifteen times a week if you're a Tri-Delt.
} Twenty times a week if your annual income is over $1 million.
} Thirty-seven times a week if you're a jigolo.
} Forty times a week if you're a prostitute.
} Forty-two times a week if you're a high school cheerleader.
} Seventy-eight times a week if you're Traci Lords or Barbara Dare.
} Five thousand seven hundred fifty-five times a week in as
} many different positions if you're Lisa.
} Zero if you're John Holmes.
You owe the Peter a piece of paper with "I will not steal the Oracles lines"
written on it 100 times.
Peter.
===
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