[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
?!? (fwd)
Forwarded to me by someone I don't know very well... Hmmm...
--
Gregory S. Sutter "How do I read this file?"
mailto:[email protected] "You uudecode it."
http://www.pobox.com/~gsutter/ "I I I decode it?"
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 12 Nov 1997 03:27:53 -0800
From: Este <[email protected]>
Subject: ?!?
June 1, 1997 Sunday Observer, Sri Lanka
"This may look very mysterious, as if some invisible power is at
work," declared Balaram Sharan as he removed his fungi and stood naked
before a group of startled reporters at the Mumbai Press Club. "But once
you get the hang of it, it is really simple. And remember, if you want
to be in the pink of health, you must keep the bladder clean because
that is where diseases originate."
So saying, Sharan (a yoga instructor from the Oshiwara suburb of
New Delhi) dipped his penis into a beakerful of sweet oil and sucked
150ml into his bladder, retaining it for several minutes before
discharging it, and (to prove it was still pure oil) using it to light
five clay lamps. "I mastered these methods by living among the sadhus in
the jungles of Uttar Pradesh for twelve years. If everyone starts
practicing them, the world will become free of disease. Sadhus know the
importance of keeping their bowels clean through yogic methods," he
continued, inserting one end of a rubber tube into a large bucket of
water and the other into his rectum, "and I shall now suck up three
liters of water through my anus, and then spew it out from my mouth,
back into the bucket. Kindly stand well back."
Later, to demonstrate how to clean the nasal cavities, he drank
two bottles of water, then inserted a twin tube into his mouth and
pulled out its two ends through his nostrils. "See how the water flows
out like a babbling brook. Now I will remove the remaining cough and
other impurities in my body by swallowing this piece of clean white
gauze." He did so, and after several minutes of audible stomach
churning, the cloth was regurgitated along with the filth. "Now I'll let
out whatever air is left in my stomach," he said, raising his posterior
and emitting a series of sharp reports. "And if you think this is
unusual, you should see the sadhu I learned my skills from. He can blow
up a balloon with his penis until it is the size of a melon, and spark
off fire with his urine. But he lives in the Himalayas and he won't do
television."
--
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
/ Had it with Hairy Hippies? Livid about Lunatical Lefties? /
/ Concerned by their Communist Causes? /
/ Bored by their Bland Bumper stickers? /
/ Well, what an incredible coincidence....http://www.nurwibsco.com /
/the 'browser of death' homepage: http://www.nurwibsco.com/iedeath.htm /
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
===
This message was sent to mph-humor. No guarantees of actual humor are
provided. Archives and instructions for subscribing or unsubscribing
are available from http://mph124.rh.psu.edu/~hunt/humor .