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[rec.games.roguelike.angband] Tolkien and his poor writing
The newsgroup devoted to the game Angband, based on Tolkien's
writings, frequently has "debates" regarding whether Tolkien's writing
(a) sucks and (b) is necessary for enjoying the game. Here's a new
slant on the issue...
------- Start of forwarded message -------
From: [email protected] (Chris Kern)
Newsgroups: rec.games.roguelike.angband
Subject: Tolkien and his poor writing
Date: Thu, 02 Oct 1997 03:22:09 GMT
Organization: NetNITCO Internet Services
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
It seems that Tolkien has not thought very clearly before writing his
books. He really needs to think things through before even putting
pen to paper. Some examples:
1) Beren goes through all the trouble of having Luthien put Morgoth to
sleep, sneaking in, etc. All he has to do is read some glyph of
warding scrolls and shoot him with some bolts. He should have found
some if he went down to level 100 of Angband. And how did he get down
so low with only Angrist? This story is obviously not well thought
out.
2) Hurin manages to slay Mim, and the story makes to mention of his
stuff getting disenchanted. I guess mabye he didn't have magical
things, but Tolkien could have given us a little clue.
3) According to Unfinished Tales, in the final days before Hurin's
capture he would not wear his iron helm. Why the hell not? Didn't he
notice when he put it on there was magic light and he suddenly could
see all the monsters around him? No wonder he got captured.
4) Gothmog fails to summon anything in his fight with Echtelion, even
though there is no mention of an anti-summoning corridor.
5) Turin somehow manages to use Mormegil, with its huge minuses, to
off Glaurung in one blow. I don't think so. Glaurung also has
"Gothmog syndrome" when he doesn't summon any ancient dragons.
"Father of Dragons" indeed.
6) Excuse me, Mr. Tolkien, it's "Mugash" not "Muzgash", and he's a
kobold, not an orc. Geez.
7) It is impossible for Bard to kill Smaug with one arrow using the
Long Bow of Bard, unless our redoutable human has hacked the source
code. One wonders exactly what the "black arrow" is.
8) This could be attributed to luck, but while in Moria the party
manages to completely avoid the Evil Iggy. Gandalf also uses an
unorthodox strategy of beating the Balrog which involves no
invulnerability potions.
9) Okay, I thought Gandalf was supposed to be honorable. But he had
cheat death on! Glorfindel also uses cheats.
-Chris
Remove "junkmail" in my return address to reply.
------- End of forwarded message -------
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