(fwd) Neiman Marcus Cookie recipe... the rest of the story

[gsutter@pobox.com (Gregory Sutter)]

On Thu, 20 Feb 97 19:30:01 EST, in rec.humor.funny rogers@frontiernet.net (Larry Rogers) wrote:


In the interest of getting the history of the Neiman-Marcus Cookie
Recipe story  absolutely correct, I have voluntarily engaged in some
heavy research.  I logged about 12 hours in a local collegiate library
and came up with what I believe to be the earliest version of this
story.  It is not unique to America.  Heck, it is not even unique to
this century!  Below I have translated from the runic, the (I can only
believe it is the original) first known reference to being overcharged
for a recipe, and then cheating the seller by passing along the recipe
to many others. Take a gander and let me know what you think...
 
 Larry Rogers
 ---------------------------
 
 A Proclamation from Sir Lord Duke Belvedere, Leige of Wiltshire, Proud
Servant of His Lord High God and the King under Him to all kith and kin
across the land, acroos the seas, and to any of noble blood beyond.
 
 It would pleaseth us mightily if thou, with thine noble heart and
chivalrous soul wouldst maketh it a point to use the recipe contained
herein and pass it along to thine own kith and kin to be used and passed
along to theirs...
 
 But, first, because it doth pleaseth, us, and hopefuly thou as well,
the history of this wondrous recipe that We have enclosed for thou...
 
 We, Sir Lord Duke Belvedere, Leige of Wiltshire, Proud Servant of His
Lord High God and the King under Him, had the unique pleasure of
visiting the demense of the Most Noble Lord Oleg, Prince of Normandy.
During which visit, we had the opportunity to partake of many feasts in
our honor and his.  It was during yon feasts that a most heavenly
beverage was presented and consumed.  Twas Mead, and not just any mead,
we may say.  Twas blackberry mead of a most delectable sort.  Upon the
completion of yon visit to the Most Noble Lord Oleg, Prince of Normandy,
we requested that a recitation of the procedure for drinking that most
delectable beverage be ensconced within our historian�s head for a
repitition to our own beverage preparer at home.  The Most Noble Oleg,
Prince of Normandy informed us that it would cost us 350 guilders and 30
 head of cattle.  We said that it should not be a problem for one of
such noble birth as ourselves, that his Leige, the Most Noble Lord Oleg,
Prince of Normandy should inform our historian of the procedure, and
send him back to us in 30 days time with a messenger to carry the return
payment for the recipe.
 
 A month of days went by and the historian was duly returned to us.  The
messenger from His Most Noble Lord Oleg, Prionce of Normandy was
scheduled to return to his lord the following day.  When we asked that
the charge be repeated to us, we were informed that the exchange rate
for the guilders translated into 15,000 pounds!  That Cad!  The
Messenger was beheaded, and his head returned to the Most High Noble
Lord Oleg, Prince of Normandy, along with the requested 30 head of
cattle and 350 pounds.
 
 Our own beverage maker was set to work immediately to prepare some of
the wonderful mead.  It took over a month to fully prepare.  Upon the
date of its completion, we were about to partake the first drink of the
most wonderous elixer whereupon a messenger burst forth upon our feast
and informed us that the Most High Lord Oleg, Prince of Normandy had not
been pleased with our treatment of his messenger, and had declared war
upon us, there was a full fleet of 7 long-boats full of armed warriors
on their way to make war with us immediately!
 
 And so, upon the potential that I shall not return from the battle, I
wish to make certain that the High Lord Oleg, Prince of Normandy does
not play such a prank on any others of our noble standing, and so we
give to you, free of charge the recipe for which we are about to make
war...
 
 Your Patron, Friend, Foe, Ally and Leige, Sir Lord Duke Belvedere,
Leige of Wiltshire, Proud Servant of His Lord High God and the King
under Him
 
 Blackberry Mead
 
 Ingredients (2 gallons):
 
 1 gallon ripe blackberries
 4 1/2 lbs clover honey
 acid blend and yeast
 Montrache wine yeast
 
 Procedure:
 
 Pick about a gallon of good ripe berries, rinseth them.  During this
time beginneth a simple mead with 2 1/2lbs of yon clover honey and
enough water to make a gallon. Useth the Montrache wine yeast and add
yeast and acid blend.
 Fermentation shall stop after three weeks.  Masheth the blackberries
with a wine bottle.  Add the mead.  Two weeks later, rack the liquid off
of the fruit and into a carboy.  Add another 2 lbs of honey and enough
water to fill it up to 2 gallons.  A month later, bottle.  At eight
months, it shall be perfect.
 
 Comments:
 
 Up through six months of aging, it shan�t be very good, but at eight
shall be wonderful.  It becometh like a really good red wine with a
blackberry nose and
 aftertaste.
 
 ---------------------------------------
 
 The above is most certainly a parody, and the mead recipe has been
 changed enough to make it almost unusable.  you may find the original at:
 http://alpha.rollanet.org/library/beeslees.html
 If you have enjoyed this, please send it along to others afflicted with
 the Neiman-Marcus story, and be certain to include my name right up at
the top where it is now.

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