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Fwd: Petreley does Oz
Here is a fun Petreley column from InfoWorld:
> [Down to the Wire]
>
> October 26, 1998
>
> Looking for the Wizard of Redmond? Follow the yellow brick
> road ahead
>
> If I had a nickel for every time someone compared Bill
> Gates to the Wizard of Oz ("Pay no attention to the truth
> behind that curtain"), Gates would no longer be the richest
> person on earth.
>
> I've often wondered what it would be like to take the
> comparison to its logical conclusion and turn the Wizard of
> Oz into pure allegory. Dorothy's first encounter might be
> with a handful of corporate IT professionals engaged in a
> strategic political battle with Dilbertian pointy-haired
> bosses. The IT professionals, portrayed by the Scarecrow,
> would sing this song of Windows NT momentum ...
>
> We could while away the hours advisin' to the
> powers "migration is insane." But our heads we'll
> be scratchin' while their Windows schemes are
> hatchin' if they only had a brain.
>
> It's a mys'try and a riddle, with registries
> they'll fiddle, and reinstall again. Wasted time
> they'll be spendin' on the reboots never endin'
> if they only had a brain.
>
> Oh, we -- can't tell you why they don't like
> NetWare more.
>
> To do the things they can't with NT 4 they'll
> wait for 5 -- and wait some more.
>
> Yes, our bosses have a mission, an NT expedition,
> and so it will remain.
>
> But our costs could be shrinkin' if our bosses
> did some thinkin' if they only had a brain.
>
> The Department of Justice claims that Microsoft violated
> its consent decree. Dorothy notes that the DOJ's position
> is precarious, pointing out that the consent decree had no
> teeth and contained a fatal loop hole. A pundit, in the
> form of the Lion, sings ...
>
> Yes, the DOJ went sissy, it's sad, believe me,
> missy, when Billy threw a curve. He can copy
> innovation if he calls it integration 'cause they
> didn't have the nerve.
>
> I understand you vendors fully, that Microsoft's
> a bully, a fate you don't deserve. But the
> vendors of the nation could avoid this situation
> if they only had the nerve.
>
> Microsoft executives would vigorously defend their
> position. They are represented by the Tin Man, who sings
> ...
>
> We would never think of stealin' technologies
> appealin', we'd always do our part. But for that
> I'm presumin' we would have to be quite human if
> we only had a heart.
>
> Screw the moral implications of global
> domination, for us it is an art. We will pet
> friends like sparrows while we'll pick them off
> with arrows if we only had a heart.
>
> Picture me -- as royalty. Above a voice mourns
> low. "Trade secrets where'd they go?" I hear
> defeat ... how sweet.
>
> Just to register emotion, integrity, devotion,
> why is it we should start? When our strategy's
> a-workin' while the judge's chain we're jerkin'
> if we only had a heart.
>
> In marches Caldera to the rescue, played by Dorothy and her
> friends. They sing gleefully of claims that Microsoft used
> tricks and monopoly power to squash DR-DOS ...
>
> We're off to sue the Wizard, the Windowful Wizard
> of DOS, because he ran a wiz of a biz by taking a
> whiz on us. If ever oh ever a case there was,
> this suit we'll win, we'll win because, because,
> because, because, because, because ... because of
> the anti-competitive things he does.
>
> We're off to sue the Wizard, The Windowful Wizard
> of DOS!
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
> Former consultant and programmer, Nicholas Petreley
> represents the Lollipop Guild. Send your comments to
> [email protected].
--
Eric Bennett ( [email protected] ; http://www.pobox.com/~ericb )
Department of Chemistry, Cornell University
377 S.T. Olin Chemistry Lab
What's the difference between Microsoft and Jurassic Park?
One is a fantasy theme park populated with dinosaurs; the
other is a movie.
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