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Finally, a good "chain letter"

Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin.  I am suffering from rare
and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of
sexual activity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by
anal electrocution, and guilt for not sending out 50
billion fucking forwards sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl
in Arkansas with lung cancer brought on by second-hand
smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the big bad
men who kidnapped her and took pornographic pictures of her for
use on their child pornography web site will get 6 fucking cents
every time you send me the letter.  

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you 
and everyone you send "his" email to $1000?  How fucking stupid are you?

Ooooh, looky here!  If I scroll down this page and make a wish,
I'll get laid by every Victoria's Secret model in the catalog!
What a bunch of bullshit.  So basically, this message is a
big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing
better to do than to send me stupid forwards.

Maybe the evil chainletter leprechauns will come into my dorm
room and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was
started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by
midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the
year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records
for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

Fuck them.  If you're going to forward something, at least
send something mildly amusing.  I've seen all the "send
this to 50 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90
times.  I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence
and think about what you're actually contributing
to by sending out forwards.  Chances are it's your own
unpopularity.

Thank you, and feel free to delete this email without sending it
on to others (unless they have it coming).


-chris. 	http://www.personal.psu.edu/cxg202

"Shows how little you know.  Chris died in June.  He has since 
been replaced by a pot-smoking AI that acts more like Chris 
than Chris ever did."
				-- Matthew Hunt

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