---- End included message ----mph-humor Digest Volume 97 : Issue 24 Today's Topics: [alt.sysadmin.recovery] Assumptions of Computer Store Employees Re: Volume vs. Value Apple's Java Magic [rec.games.roguelike.nethack] YAFMC
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- To: Humor List <[email protected]>
- Subject: [alt.sysadmin.recovery] Assumptions of Computer Store Employees
- From: Matthew Hunt <[email protected]>
- Date: 29 Apr 1997 19:53:40 -0400
------- Start of forwarded message ------- Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery From: [email protected] Subject: Assumptions of Computer Store Employees Message-ID: <[email protected]> Organization: University of Chicago -- Academic Computing Services Date: Tue, 29 Apr 1997 22:04:03 GMT Assumptions that Computer Store Employees make, that're gonna push me over the edge one of these days: 1) You only own, or have access to, one computer. 2) Bricks have more computer knowledge than you. 3) Computer Store Employees have more knowledge than you. 4) All peripherals, accessories, cabling, etc. are platform specific. 5) The Computer Store Employee is always right. 6) The term "Books" or "Manuals" refers to the latest "[X] for Complete Idiots" guide. 7) IDE is more popular than SCSI. 8) SCSI is "on the way out, which is why we don't carry it." (I swear I just heard this last week. From three different stores.) 9) Memory only comes in 72-pin EDO SIMMs. 10) Modems and Thicknet adaptors are the only two kinds of PCMCIA cards in existence. 11) Connectix is the only manufacturer of desktop video camera systems. 12) They carry BOTH kinds: Macs AND PCs! 13) You want an AOL CD with that. 14) You should never, under any circumstances, open your own computer. 15) Data on CD-ROMS are platform specific. "In what format are the map files on this geographical CD-ROM?" "What kind of computer do you have?" ...on a side note, I'm gonna start answering that with, "The kind that would leave me with an enormous deal of satisfaction if shoved violently into your nether orifice. Plugged in. With exposed, fully-charged capacitors." ------- End of forwarded message -------
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- To: [email protected]
- Subject: Re: Volume vs. Value
- From: [email protected] (Eric Bennett)
- Date: Wed, 30 Apr 1997 13:12:16 -0400
In article <[email protected]> [email protected] (Joe Ragosta) writes: > > :The bottom line with the cancellation of the Performa line, in my > > :opinion, is that the media deliberately and successfully tarnished the > > :Performa brand name by drawing the public's attention to two consecutive > > :slow Christmas sales seasons for the Performa. > > > > Probably also a good idea as Maytag recently intoduced a new line of washing > > machines and dryers under the brand name "Performa". > > Too bad. They missed a great marketing opportunity. Have a picture of the > Maytag repairman waiting for a Performa to break next to an Apple repairman > waiting for a Performa to break. -- Eric Bennett ( [email protected] ; http://www.pobox.com/~ericb ) Sixty-seven percent of the doctors surveyed preferred X to Y. (Jones couldn't be persauded.) -John Allen Paulos
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- To: [email protected]
- Subject: Apple's Java Magic
- From: "Eric M. Bennett" <[email protected]>
- Date: Wed, 30 Apr 1997 16:09:47 -0400
>From a ZDNet preview of MacOS 8: ===== The new operating system will also include a feature called the Apple Applet Runner, which enables it to run programs in the Java programming language, developed by Sun Microsystems Inc., without having to download them first. ===== -- Eric Bennett ( [email protected] ; http://www.pobox.com/~ericb ) Get info on cross-platform tools for dealing with common Internet file formats at http://www.pobox.com/~ericb/xplat/xplat.html
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- To: Humor List <[email protected]>
- Subject: [rec.games.roguelike.nethack] YAFMC
- From: Matthew Hunt <[email protected]>
- Date: 02 May 1997 12:25:05 -0400
------- Start of forwarded message ------- Newsgroups: rec.games.roguelike.nethack From: [email protected] (Irina Rempt) Subject: YAFMC Reply-To: [email protected] Organization: Aurea Message-ID: <[email protected]> Date: Fri, 2 May 1997 07:14:39 GMT "The water moccasin bites! The water moccasin's bite was poisoned! The poison doesn't seem to affect you. You die..." Imri, killed by not being poisoned (obviously :-) -- [email protected] -------------------- Lingua Latina Occasionibus Omnibus -------------------- XIV. "Purgamentum init, exit purgamentum."