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mph-humor Digest V97 #11


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mph-humor Digest				Volume 97 : Issue 11

Today's Topics:
	 Re: Advocates should agree on these points.
	 (fwd) [alt.obituaries] Jonestown Revisited?
	 (fwd) [sci.chem] safe disposal of sodium metal
	 God, the sweepstakes winner
	 [comp.emacs] Re: Teri Hatcher Nude Pics
	 [gnu.emacs.vm.info] Re: Alicia Silverstone Mode
	 [alt.sysadmin.recovery] Re: And you think *you've* got it hard.
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In article <[email protected]>
[email protected] (James M. Curran) writes:

> In <<[email protected]>>, 
> [email protected] (Eric Bennett) wrote:
> 
> >And didn't SGI just sell the Russians some computers that Russia
> >incorrectly told SGI would not be used for military purposes?
> 
> 	That reminds me of a story I heard years ago.... Sometime ago (c
> 1975), a frieght train going across Europe was hijacked, and part of
> it's cargo -- a shipment of IBM mainframe computers --- was stolen.
> The crime was never solved.
> 
> 	A few years (c 1980), the KGB placed an order with IBM for replacement
> parts, citing as the serial numbers of the machines these part were to
> be put into, the numbers for the stolen computers.
> 
> 	IBM filled the order.



--
Eric Bennett ( [email protected] ; http://www.pobox.com/~ericb )

Microsoft: for those of you who don't want to go anywhere today.
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On 29 Mar 1997 17:59:04 -0700, in alt.humor.best-of-usenet "Judith Ross"
<[email protected]> wrote:

Subject: Re: Jonestown Revisited? 
From: [email protected] (Jonathan Meltzer)
Newsgroups: alt.obituaries

>Zachariah Love <[email protected]> wrote...
>> > many of the males, including the leader "Do" Applewhite, had been
>> > castrated. 

Eunuchs programmers?

-- 
Moderators accept or reject articles based solely on the criteria posted
in the Frequently Asked Questions. Article content is the responsibility
of the submitter.  Submit articles to [email protected]. To write

to the moderators, send mail to [email protected].
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On 30 Mar 1997 08:30:04 -0700, in alt.humor.best-of-usenet Richard Guy
<[email protected]> wrote:

[Submitter's note:  Geoffrey Wilkinson won the Nobel Prize for
chemistry.  Sodium and potassium can be distinguished by their flame
colours.]

Subject: Re: safe disposal of sodium metal 
From: "Rebecca M. Chamberlin" <[email protected]>
Newsgroups: sci.chem

Eric Lucas wrote:
> 
> if there's a pond near you, just go and chuck it in,
> then sit back and watch the fireworks.  This is especially impressive if
> that pond is a big make-out spot for local teenagers.  (Potassium is
> more impressive, too).  (For the humor-challenged, no I'm *not*
> advocating he do this.)

Reminds me of a story of the late great Geoff Wilkinson.  It seems that 
on one rainy day in London, his graduate students decided to entertain 
themselves by tossing chunks of potassium out the lab window, into some 
puddles on the rooftop 2 floors below them.  An irate professor 
(probably a theoretician) saw the fireworks from his office one floor 
below, and stormed upstairs to Wilkinson's office.  He announced that 
sodium was being thrown out the lab windows, demanded that the guilty 
parties be summarily executed, and stormed back out. 

Wilkinson confronted his students and demanded to know whether they had 
been throwing sodium out the window as charged.  No sir, they replied, 
it was potassium.  Wilkinson muttered "Bugger doesn't know his flame 
tests..." and dismissed all charges.  

-- 
Moderators accept or reject articles based solely on the criteria posted
in the Frequently Asked Questions. Article content is the responsibility
of the submitter.  Submit articles to [email protected]. To write

to the moderators, send mail to [email protected].
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>From comp.risks:

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Date: Thu, 27 Mar 1997 10:21:44 -0800 (PST)
From: "Kevin A. Hogan" <[email protected]>
Subject: God, the sweepstakes winner

Yet another example of direct-mail marketers' software failing to divine the
proper form of address for their intended recipient (from _National Review_,
24 Mar 1997, p. 5):

  American Family Publishers sends Assemblies of God church in Bushnell,
  Fla., a sweepstakes notice: "God, we've been searching for you."  If He
  wins, "what an incredible fortune there would be for God!  Could you
  imagine the looks you'd get from your neighbors?  But don't just sit
  there, God."

Kevin Hogan [email protected] (510) 664-2533
http://www-ucsee.EECS.Berkeley.EDU/~kahogan/
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Happy Easter!
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------- Start of forwarded message -------
From: Erik Naggum <[email protected]>
Newsgroups: comp.emacs
Subject: Re: Teri Hatcher Nude Pics
Date: 30 Mar 1997 18:25:55 +0000
Organization: Naggum Software; +47 2295 0313; http://www.naggum.no
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
References: <[email protected]>
mail-copies-to: never

* [email protected]
| Everybody needs some sex in there life.

I'd rather have sex in here life.

#\Erik
-- 
I'm no longer young enough to know everything.
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You know, the Emacs folks really seem to be enjoying this porn-site
spam.

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From: Bryan O'Sullivan <[email protected]>
Newsgroups: gnu.emacs.vm.info
Subject: Re: Alicia Silverstone Mode
Date: 29 Mar 1997 23:32:29 -0800
Organization: Polymorphous Thaumaturgy
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
References: <[email protected]>

I would like to report a problem with Alicia Silverstone Mode.  I seem
to get a stack backtrace every time I try M-x as-if., but the frames
all seem to contain Valley slang.

	<b
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From: [email protected] (Steve Birnbaum)
Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery
Subject: Re: And you think *you've* got it hard.
Date: 31 Mar 1997 14:05:18 GMT
Organization: NetMedia
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
References: <[email protected]><Pine.GSO.3.96.970314141253.24754A-100000@th umper><[email protected]> <[email protected]><[email protected]> <[email protected]>

Do not use a web browser for reading news. <blink>
On 30 Mar 1997 20:57:04 GMT, Richard Levitte - Bastard at bofh.se <[email protected]> wrote:
>   Oh, come now, you must remember this from your virgin days.
>
>Virgin days?  Wha's that?


Well you know how on Thanksgiving (also called Turkey Day 
by some) you're supposed to invite a bunch of people over to 
your house to eat a turkey, right?


I'm probably going to get larted for this bigtime, but I couldn't resist.

Now I think I know why I have a disclaimer in my .sig & header.

-- 
Steve Birnbaum - System Administrator, NetMedia. Jerusalem, Israel.
[email protected]  Phone: +972-2-6795860   --Standard Disclaimer--
[email protected] http://www.vix.com/spam/   (PGP key available)
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