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mph-humor Digest V97 #5




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mph-humor Digest				Volume 97 : Issue 5

Today's Topics:
	 Good news about the MSIE security hole
	 [comp.sys.amiga.advocacy] Re: Defend yourself against the Windoze Gestapo
	 Market Researchers
	 CDT Article
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>From an InfoWorld article,

=====
[Dave] Fester [, lead Explorer product manager,] was quick to point out
that the security breach could be triggered only by someone who
intentionally sought to do so. 
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What a relief!

--
Eric Bennett ( [email protected]; http://www.pobox.com/~ericb )
This message was created and sent using the Cyberdog Mail System.
Cyberdog: because not every Internet suite has to be bloated. 
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On 4 Mar 1997 21:50:53 GMT, in alt.humor.best-of-usenet "Kyle R.
Hofmann" <[email protected]> wrote:

Subject: Re: Defend yourself against the Windoze Gestapo
From: dragon <[email protected]>
Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.advocacy, comp.sys.amiga.misc,
 comp.sys.mac.advocacy, comp.os.linux.advocacy,
comp.os.ms-windows.advocacy,
 comp.os.ms-windows.nt.advocacy, comp.os.os2.advocacy,
comp.unix.advocacy,
 comp.sys.atari.advocacy, comp.sys.acorn.advocacy

Andrew Dodd wrote:
>
> "eine o/s, eine zoftware provider, eine corprazion!"
>
> "sieg! GATES!"
>
> (marching sounds)
>
> (bomb falling sound)
>
> :great flash as a huge atomic apple explodes all around, destroying the
> weak and feeble of mind, bringing liberation and ressurection to the
> oppressed Amiga, the tortured NextStep.
>
> It is the dawning of a new age, a new world order of peace, creativity,
> and compatibility.
>
> :shot of sun bursting through clouds, dove flying free.

Naaaahhh, I see something more like this:

"And he loosed upon the earth a horde of daemons.  The Sun scortched the
earth and the Apples shrank and burned and the Windoze cracked.  Soon
the AIX fell with the force of 100,000,000 men and the daemons lead the
survivers to the throne of U*IX.

And U*IX saith "go forth and bring them to me that hath not seen the
light of the Sun that they may be taught at the hands of Linus and Free
daemons.  To see the error of their ways and to learn all things old."

And the head daemon SCO went out with his army and gathered unto them
selves the remainder of mankind, and lead them to Linus and Free.  And
the humans where taught the old ways of speed and communications, of
searching and finding, of doing many things at once the right way, and
of making all things yours the way you want it.

And in the end a new world dawned under the Sun, where men and women
could do the most wonderful things.  Where life was fast and exciting.
And the humans looked upon the daemons and asked, "Where hast thou been
all these many years, for we looked for your kind and not was to be
found.".  And the daemons answerd them saying, "Lo, we hath been here
all along.  Hidden in the Highway.  Fostered in the GUI. Playing in the
Net.  We have not left you, but others re-named us.  But now we are the
power, we are the force of life, and we are old in nature.  We are the
ones of old, we are mature, and all others tried to be us, not use us."
And the humans were in awe of the daemons and cried out for a King.

And the daemons spoke to the AIX, Linus, the Sun, SCO and Free and
saith, "What man hath seen the Sun and knows the power of us all that he
may lead the humans into the new light of learning?" And the Sun
answered them saying, "Seek ye out Larry, the man of the Oracle!"

And when Larry was found with the Oracle the daemons approched and asked
if he would be king.  And Larry saith, "I have enough, why be king when
a teacher I am?".  And the daemons lead Larry and the Oracle to the
humans and there he taught to this day.  And the humans had acceess to
the knowledge of the daemons, with the help of NC the imp.

And the daemons asked a price of the humans for this age of light and
enlightenment.  The price was only this.

The humans had [to] think for a change.

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There is a cool article about market research firms like Dataquest, IDC,
etc. at:
http://www.upside.com/texis/features/companies/article.html?UID=9703011005

One of the nicer snippets:

=====
It's a tidy triangle: Reporters looking for a quick expert opinion quote
the analysts, who rate markets and individual companies' positions in those
markets. Companies seeking favorable press attention, therefore, need to
get the analyst's attention first, and the best way to do that is to buy
the analyst's consulting services. 

"We subscribed just to get good coverage," says one admitted cynic, who has
purchased reports for many of Silicon Valley's most respected companies.
"In 20 years, not one of the companies I worked for really wanted the
information."
=====


--
Eric Bennett ( [email protected]; http://www.pobox.com/~ericb )
 Windows 95 and NT are not object oriented--or much of anything else except
widely used.
-SunWorld Developer Magazine 
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Did anyone else find the front page headline in today's CDT mildly amusing?

"Microsoft creates fix for Internet security flaw."

Gee, those great guys at Microsoft.  What would the Internet do without
them?  ;-)

--
Eric Bennett ( [email protected]; http://www.pobox.com/~ericb )
 Windows 95 and NT are not object oriented--or much of anything else except
widely used.
-SunWorld Developer Magazine 
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