(fwd) [alt.foot.fat-free] Re: Lips in Slack Service

[gsutter@pobox.com (Gregory Sutter)]

On 16 Feb 1997 13:11:09 GMT, in alt.humor.best-of-usenet
gerdw@cougar.vut.edu.au (David Gerard) wrote:

Subject: Re: Lips in Slack Service
From: "Rev. Myrkury" <MyRK@VOICENET.com>
Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

Jim Vandewalker <jimvan@gate.net> wrote:
> Was it a little piece of paper extruded from the gaspump? Was it one of
> those "pay at the pump" places where you can get gas and NOT HAVE TO
> INTERACT with the pobucker [or pobuckress] behind the counter? WAS IT A
> NENSLO KIND OF GAS STATION?

I love that kind of Gas Station where you stick your credit card in the
pump and avoid interacting with the gas station attendants.  Having been
a
pump monkey myself at one point I can say that these are people one
might
wish to avoid.  Anyhoo I was driving down I-81 and stopped for gas in
that
little sliver of West Virginia where all the speed traps are.  I went to
use the machine and kept getting all these bizzare error messages.  So I
go inside and ask the pobuckrette inside whats going on.  She says wait.
About four minutes later a cop arrives and comes in and starts asking me
questions.  Tells me he's gonna arrest me for using a stolen credit
card.
I empty out my pockets and show him: a passport, a state I.D., three
other
credit cards, and my faculty ID.  He concedes that I might be me but
says
that the credit card company has reported the card stolen and that I
gotta
come with him down to the station and clear it up.  Just as I'm about to
press the secret button to call in the B'nai B'rith rescue commandos
another customer pulls up and tries to use their charge card and gets
the
same result I did.  Whereupon the Pobuckrette behind the counter
comments
on the fact that every single credit card used at the station that
evening
was stolen.  This seems to seep into the skull of the West Virginia cop
and he agrees to call the number on the back of my credit card to see if
its really stolen.  It wasn't.  What had happened was that the police
and
the credit card companies had worked out a sting with the gas station to
catch stolen credit card users by having ALL charges (not just those
over
$40.00) checked.  But the Pobuckers at the gas station fucked it all up
and simply DISCONNECTED the computer hookup and then went on to confuse
said error message with a stolen card report.  I was allowed to go with
a
warning from the cop: "Don't think you're getting away with anything."
As
I walked out of the station I heard the cop talking to the station on
his
car radio explaining that those folks down in the local pokey ought to
be
let go.  BTW this was on New Years Eve.

Redneck Moron Fucks, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

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