New technology: BOOK

[Matthew Hunt <mph@pobox.com>]

              Amazing New Technology Might Replace The Computer

     A new aid to rapid, almost magical, learning has made its appearance.
Indications are such that, if it catches on, all the electronic gadgets will
be so much junk.

     The new device is known as Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge. The
developers usually call it by its initials, BOOK(tm).

     Many advantages are claimed over the old-style learning and teaching
aids which most people are using today. It has no wires or electric circuits
to break down. No connection is needed to an electrical power point. It is
made entirely without mechanical parts that could go bad or need
replacement.

     Anyone can use BOOK(tm), even children, and it fits comfortably into
the hands. It can be conveniently used in any standing or sitting positing.
For example, it can be used while sitting in an armchair by the fire.

     How does this revolutionary, unbelievably easy invention work?

     Basically BOOK(tm) consists only of a large number of paper sheets.
These may run to hundreds where BOOK(tm) covers a lengthy program of
information. Each sheet bears a number in sequence, so that the sheets
cannot be used in the wrong order.

     To make it even easier for the user to keep the sheets in the proper
order they are held firmly in place by a special locking device called a
"binding".

     Each sheet of paper presents the user with an information sequence in
the form of symbols, which he or she absorbs optically for automatic
registration on the brain. When one sheet has been assimilated, a flick of
the finger turns it over and further information is found on the other side.
By using both sides of each sheet in this way a great economy is effected,
thus reducing both the size and cost of BOOK(tm). No buttons need to be
pressed to move from one sheet to another, to open or close BOOK(tm), or to
start it working.

     BOOK(tm) may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it.
Instantly it is ready for use. Nothing has to be connected or switched on.
The user may turn at will to any sheet, going backwards or forwards as he or
she pleases. A sheet is provided near the beginning as a location finder for
any required information sequence.

     A small accessory, available at trifling extra cost, is the
BOOK(tm)mark. This enable the users to pick the program where they left off
on the previous learning session. BOOK(tm)mark is versatile and may be used
in any BOOK(tm).

     The initial cost varies with the size and subject matter. Already a
vast range of BOOK(tm)s is available, covering every conceivable subject and
adjusted to different levels of aptitude. One BOOK(tm), small enough to be
held in the hands, may contain an entire learning schedule.

     Once purchased, BOOK(tm) requires no further upkeep cost. No batteries
or wires are needed, since the motive power, thanks to an ingenious device
patented by the makers, is supplied by the brain of the user.

     BOOK(tm)s may be stored on handy shelves, and for ease of reference the
program schedule is normally indicated on the back of the binding.

     Altogether the Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge seems to have great
advantages with no drawbacks. We predict a big future for it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     However, here are responses from the legal and technical support
departments:

     BOOK(tm) does not, in spite of the claims, seem "to have great
advantages with no drawbacks". Soon, it probably won't even be legal.
Consider:

     It can be conveniently used sitting in an armchair by the fire. Being
paper, it might burn in the fire. Probably fire laws in most locations
wouldn't allow its use there. Worse, such a device, which encourages close
proximity of the user to fire, will be outlawed by OSHA's request.

     "Each sheet bears a number in sequence, so that the sheets cannot be
used in the wrong order." How quaint; to think that the programmer (author)
would be allowed to turn over such an important task to the user! Also
"cannot" is clearly misused; any user could incorrectly turn to the wrong
page. A proper user interface might correct that, of course, such as
requiring that each sheet be torn off to expose the next. This is a clear
conflict with "The user may turn at will to any sheet, going backwards or
forwards as he pleases."

     "BOOK(tm)s may be stored on handy shelves and for ease of reference".
The user interface obviously needs more work before such a system can be
practical.

     As to "the motive power -- is supplied by the brain of the user".
Clearly, the inventors have not examined recent trends. No serious person
would suggest even expecting a "user" to have a brain present, much less to
use it so continuously.

     We suggest the inventors return to their consoles and do a thorough
associative search of various data banks and forget this nonsense.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The above was sent to me by Will Meeks of the University of Idaho which is
already replacing computers with books since the people in that state find
it inconvenient to use the long power cords needed to hook up with the
nearest power socket in California.

Thomas R. Fasulo, Editor
I HATE COMPUTERS Newsletter
http://extlab1.entnem.ufl.edu/IH8PCs/

-- 
This message comes to you as a service of the mph-humor list.  No
claims of real or perceived humor are offered.
Sumbissions:  mph-humor@mph124.rh.psu.edu 
Information:  http://mph124.rh.psu.edu/~hunt/mph-humor.html