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Another Bill story...
Apologies if you've already heard this one. It was new to me...
=====
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory,
being sized up by St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether
to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society
by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also
created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never
done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to
go."
Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?" St.
Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it
will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with
clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in
the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the
temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want
to see heaven!""Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about,
playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I
think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire
to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill,
shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being
burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,
"This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago!
I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place,
with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the
water?!???"
"That was a demo," replied St. Peter.
=====
Eric Bennett ( [email protected] ; http://www.pobox.com/~ericb )
Cross-platform internet file format utilties at www.pobox.com/~ericb/xplat.html
***News flash: people are more satisfied when product costs go up than down.
"If a customer were to buy exactly the same products [under Select 4.0] as
they did under Select 3, there will be a price increase," said Troy Oldham,
licensing marketing manager at Microsoft, in Redmond, Wash. "The decisions
we made were not easy, but they were made in the interest of simplicity and
customer satisfaction."
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