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[alt.humor.best-of-usenet] [comp.infosystems.www.browsers.misc] Netscape 3.01b1: the greatest software ever?
After this, I'll try to cut down the a.h.b-o-u submissions... but I
just couldn't resist. -mph
------- Start of forwarded message -------
From: Jonathan Feinberg <[email protected]>
Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
Subject: [comp.infosystems.www.browsers.misc] Netscape 3.01b1: the greatest software ever?
Followup-To: alt.humor.best-of-usenet.d
Date: 14 Oct 1996 19:54:01 -0700
Organization: best of usenet humor
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Subject: Netscape 3.01b1: the greatest software ever?
From: [email protected] (Paul Phillips)
Newsgroups: comp.infosystems.www.browsers.misc, alt.fan.mozilla,
comp.lang.java.misc
If you have been licking your lips in anticipation during these two
agonizing months during which no browsers came forth from Netscape, lick
no more. Netscape 3.01b1 is here, and despite the less than heady name,
it packs a punch you won't believe. This is going to END the browser wars
once and for all. Years from now, Microsoft will be a fading memory while
Netscape powers on, and it will be on the strength of 3.01b1. I swear I
will never again wash the hands that downloaded this masterpiece.
Don't believe me? Why, just look at a few of the features we get!
* On Windows 95, JIT switch() statements and incrementing/decrementing
by 1 work properly.
On some architectures, incrementing or decrementing by one can take an
entire machine instruction! You think they can just whip out this sort of
thing? Think again.
* Downloaded Java zip files are removed from the user's temp directory.
What more need be said? The complexity of temporary file removal makes my
head spin; all the special cases regarding this directory or that
directory or the true metaphysical meaning of "temporary" led me to flunk
out of "Temp Files 101", roundly known as the weeder class at my school.
That they achieved this in two months is a ringing testament to the
caliber of programmers they have brought together.
* On Macintosh, Navigator resumes proper operation after printing a page
with a plug-in.
The Mac will only crash at its normal frequency now! What a timesaver!
Naturally I could go on -- why, the list of features would almost reach
double digits in hexadecimal! But to tout this product excessively would
be to do it a grave injustice, rather like talking up the Sistine Chapel.
Think to yourself "what could the hundreds upon hundreds of people at
Netscape put together with two months and endless amounts of user
feedback?" The wildest fantasies your imagination can conjure up will not
compare to what Netscape has delivered. Hallelujah!
As my friend Winston might say, "Netscape is bug-free. Netscape has
*always* been bug-free."
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------- End of forwarded message -------