Babylon 5 Drinking Game

Thirsty, I come. In Bacchus' name, I take the drink which has been prepared for me. I am drunk. I stand between the pitcher and the toilet. We are drunk. We stand between the table and the floor.

Disclaimer:

These rules are intended for use with water (also known as Transparent Thunder) only. We do not accept responsibility for injury or loss due to using any other beverages. We also do not accept responsibility for injury or loss resulting from excess consumption of water.

Rules:

• Recite the introduction along with Sinclair, Sheridan, etc. Drink once each time you screw up.
• Yell "Incoming!" and drink once when a blue jump point or jump gate opens.
• Yell "Outgoing!" and spit (or pretend to) when a yellow jump point or jump gate opens.
• When a character drinks alcohol, you drink. If a toast is offered, repeat the toast.
  • If the toast is "Valtoo!" take an extra drink.
  • If the drink is a Jovian Sunspot, take an extra drink.
  • If the character is Minbari, chug.
• Drink once when a Psi-Cop appears.
• The first time that Lyta Alexander appears on-screen, yell "I'd do her!" regardless of your gender and sexual preference. Whoever says it first wins. Everyone else takes one drink.
• As above, with "Danger, Will Robinson!" for Lennier.
• As above, with "It's the One-Armed Man!" for G'Kar.
• As above, with "Dorfman!" for Vir.
• Drink once and toast the "Great Maker" when JMS's name appears onscreen.
• When Garibaldi refers to his nth favorite thing in the universe, drink max(5-n,1) times. Double that amount if we actually see the nth favorite thing.
• Drink once when someone besides Ivanova exhibits characteristically Russian pessimism.
• Drink once when Vir takes a stand against someone in a more powerful position (e.g. Londo, Morden).
• Drink once when anyone imitates Londo.
• Drink once when a character has a waking dream, vision, premonition, etc.
• Drink twice if a situation causes a character to recall a waking dream, vision, premonition, etc.
• Drink once when any of the following characters appear on-screen or are referenced by name in dialogue:
  • Zathras
  • Draal
  • General Franklin
  • General Hague
  • Brother Theo
  • Clark
  • "The First Ones"
  • Lord Refa
  • Nagrath
  • Rebo and Zootie
• Drink once when Delenn describes a Minbari ritual. Take an extra drink if she does not use the words "It is a tradition among my people" or a variant thereof.
• Drink once when Delenn recites the following dialogue, or a variation:

  I am grey; I stand between the candle and the star. We are grey; we stand between the darkness and the light.

• Drink once when Lennier kicks some ass.
• Drink once when Lennier acts inappropriately for a member of the religious caste (e.g. riding a motorcycle, modeling a bikini, or playing poker).
• Drink once when a Drazi uses the word "purple" or "green". Yes, every time.
• Drink when a sector of B5 is mentioned in dialogue.
  • Take a second drink if it's a brown sector, and a third drink if it wasn't a security officer mentioning it.
  • If it's a green sector, yell "Purple!" All but first person to do so take a second drink.
• Drink once whenever Centauri genitalia are mentioned, or appear on-screen.
• Drink once whenever G'Kar's sexual habits, preferences, or talents are mentioned.
• Drink once when the Book of G'Quon is abused.
• Drink once when a legislature or other ruling body is dissolved.
• Drink once when any race's homeworld is seen from space. Don't forget about Earth or Z'ha'dum!
• Drink once when it's pretty clear that somebody is totally naked, even though you can't tell for certain. Twice if it's somebody from the opening credits.
• Drink once when Bester turns a personal insult into pleasant conversation (e.g. "A piñata? So I'm filled with toys and candy and smiles for children?").
• Show respect for the dead. For each funeral service performed, stand, uncover, and drink a toast to the departed.
• Drink once when any of the following is mentioned in dialogue:
  • G'Quon (twice for G'Quon Eth)
  • Illegal orders
  • The chain of command
  • Civilian targets
  • Weapons of mass destruction
  • Earthdome
  • Ultraviolet priority
  • Gold channel
  • Sector 14
  • Orion 7
  • Io transfer point
  • Zeta Squadron
  • Universe Today (twice if it appears onscreen)
  • Spoo (twice if it is "fresh")
  • Flarn
  • Code 7R
  • Quantinium-40
  • The Kha'Ri
• Drink once when the Great Machine appears onscreen or is referenced in dialogue.
• Drink once when someone quotes literature. If anyone can identify the author or work, everyone else takes an extra drink.
• Drink once when the Zima sign appears onscreen.
• Drink once when a link or Babcom beeps at an inconvenient time.
• Drink once when Kosh's ship appears on-screen.
• Drink once if a C&C Tech appears outside of C&C.
• Drink once if Babylon 5's blast doors close. Drink twice if they should be closed, but nobody thinks to order it.
• Drink four times if a character listed in the opening credits dies.
• Drink once whenever somebody says that humans build communities. Drink twice if it is actually relevant.
• Drink once whenever somebody mentions that there are races millions of years older than our own. Drink twice if it's someone other than Delenn.
• Drink once for each line Kosh speaks.
• Drink twice when Kosh appears outside his encounter suit.
• Drink once when anyone asks, "Who are you?" or "What do you want?"

How will it end?
In the toilet.

• Matthew Hunt <[email protected]>
• Andrew Glenn <[email protected]>
• Mike "Lothar" Dancs <[email protected]>